Motherhood woes (part 2)

Hiro has been well the past 3 days already. Thank God! Last week we were able to get clearance from his pedia and the anesthesiology department. It was important that he didn't get sick at least three days before the operation, otherwise, they will have to give another set of clearance (read: lab exams, UGH!). So far so good. Tonight we will be "checking-in". The operation is an out-patient procedure but he will have to undergo 6 hours of fasting. We decided that he'll do the fasting at the hospital, meaning: I.V. :(

SIX HOURS?!!!!!! For a two-year-old, that's hard, especially with Hiro.

I hope all goes well. Please help us pray for a successful operation.

He was hospitalized for dengue before.

It's painful to have to go through this again......

Motherhood woes (part 1)

Hiro fell asleep while watching "A Bug's Life" last night. It was 10:30pm.

He has not been feeling well the past two days. Yesterday his poop was all watery and he had "kabag". We were worried he might get dehydrated so Hal bought Gatorade. Hiro doesn't like the taste of pedialyte, so his pedia suggested that Gatorade is just as good. He has no fever, no insect (mosquito) bites, so we don't know where this is coming from.

For his kabag I rubbed salt on Juthropa (Filipino term: Tuba-tuba) leaves, placed them in his stomach, and wrapped them up with a cloth diaper.

Traditional approach? Yeah, I'm up for it. Why not? I'm of Ilocano descent andeventhough my families are in the medical field, I still believe in these things. It worked for Hiro before. It may work again.

30 minutes later, he woke up and started fiddling around with his back. Apparently, the leaves and the salt irritated him I had to remove them. He woke up again at 2am complaining of a "painful tummy. mommy, massage. put oil please". So i massaged his stomach until he fell asleep only to wake up again wanting to poop.......he held my hand the whole time. As I sat beside him he said: : mommy, I hold your hand. I stay next to mommy".

That's what happened the whole night. Now, I'm back at work. Surprisingly, I don't feel tired or cranky. I just feel worried for my little boy. During times like this I want to be with him all day, hug him when he feels bad, kiss him when he cries, smile and laugh at his jokes. I want to hold his hand when he says "mommy come" or "mommy join". I want him to see me as he wakes from his nap. I just want to be there to show him that inspite of what he's feeling, everything's going to be fine.

Hay.

And to think next week will be his scheduled operation at Asian Hospital.

But that's another story.

Maternity Leave

I try to hide how I feel because life has to go on. But you can't help to think that there was once a little angel inside you, right? My last ultrasound showed that she's now really gone (yes, it was a "she" but don't ask me how I know because you'll laugh). She stayed with me for almost two months, you know.

Under our laws, miscarriage is covered by maternity/paternity leave as long as it is established that there was really a fetus, and not just a blighted ovum. There's a difference. At work I had to fill up the leave form and attach my last ultrasound report as proof in lieu of a medical certificate because it wasn't available yet. 2 weeks after, I submitted the required certificate. I also had to accomplished a page-long clearance. Since I wasn't here anymore, I asked a co-worker to have it signed for me.

As to the salary, I get paid every payday and still recieve the "extras" as usual. However, where I work, you can request for you 2-months worth of salary to be in a voucher so you can recieve it as a whole. You can use this bulk of cash to pay medical bills, etc.

'll be going back to work on the 29th of this month.

Heartbeat

I saw his little home.

I saw his head.

I saw his tiny tiny hands.

I saw his heart.

It had no sound.

I heard no heartbeat.........


:-(

Things you'll never understand (because you're an in-law)

The last time I lost someone was in 2000 when my grandmother died. That was a very long time ago and i cannot recall how I felt back then. All I know is that I was sad....

Today, I've just been told that "ate" is leaving at the end of the month.........

The house will be different.

I've known ate for 4 years. She was my husband's yaya and has been with his family for 20 years. Ate is a very quiet but diligent lady. She's about 50 years old now but still very strong. Although she's not as fast a worker as she was in her younger days, you can be assured that she gets EVERYTHING done. She also cooks so well that my dad and my in-laws' relatives borrow her for a day whenever they hold parties. My mom has also taken keen interest with ate. Not to mention my little boy. Hiro calls her "ate Blutz" and they are very close. Everytime we're away he always asks where his "ate Blutz" is. She's the first person he'll look for, and she's the first person he'd want to talk to on the phone. Ate has not become a housemaid. She has become family (although there are times I do not agree with how she is being treated, paid, etc. but that's another story in itself).

Perhaps you can say that I have become so "campante" with things I do everyday and have relied on her too much. I wake up in the morning, my hot water is waiting for me and my breakfast already prepared. I come home at night, dinner is waiting. I ask for some munchies, she prepares toast or a sandwich before she goes to bed. Then the cycle starts all over again.

I do not know why she is leaving them (us).

My husband told me not to ask why and to act like I do not know. Why? I want to know, why.

It is mil's house. It's her rules. So be it.

If I had my way, I'd ask. I want to ask. I want to know. I have become attached to her the same way my little boy is to her.

Christmas is near. New Year will follow.

It's a good thing we'll be at my parents place this Christmas season. But what about when we get back?

A mother's heart

I cry when you abuse.

I cry when you compare.

I cry when you gloat.

I cry, I can't say a word, so I just stare.



I cry for your selfishness.

I cry for your stubborness.

I cry when you use my time,

my everything down to the dime.



I cry because I can't do anything.

I cry because I have respect.

I cry because I feel sorry.

I cry because I always worry.



I cry because I count the days.

I cry because it's still too long.

I cry because I can see the sacrifice and agony.

I cry because I always have to act so phony.




I cry because he's your son.

I cry because I love my son.

I cry because it's my life.

I cry because I AM THE MOTHER and the wife.



I count the days 'til this will end.

My heart, by then, will mend.

A birthday dinner

One thing I like best is fine dining. So when my husband brought me to La Guernica (Adriatico circle) for Christmas in 2003 (we were still dating), I knew that were shared the same passion.

Fast track to our first wedding anniversary in 2006. He took me to The French Corner at Westgate Alabang for dinner. Immediately, we fell in love with the place. The service was exceptional and the food was very very very good! From that time on, we sort of made this restaurant "our" place.

(photo courtesy of dessertcomesfirst.com)

Tonight was our fourth visit. This time it was our birthday dinner. For starters Hal had the Prawn Bisque and mine was the Pumpkin-Carrot soup. I just love pumpkin soup. I really wanted to try this because it was the first time I've seen it in the menu. While waiting we were served with the complimentary bread basket with butter and the best salsa I've ever tasted! We didn't have to wait long for the food to be served. The soup was very very good. Hal says that his soup reminded him of the crab fat he abhors, but this one was cooked so well that he finished it all.

Next came our main course. Hal ordered the Lamb Rack "Herb de Provence", medium rare. I got the Marinated Lamb Chops. Since my last encounter with lamb in 1999 was terrible, I had mine medium well. I decided to finally face my fear of eating lamb meat after so many years.

They finally came.

Lamb Rack "Herb de Provence"
(photo courtesy of: dessertcomesfirst.com)

I waited for Hal to take the first bite.

He melted in his chair.

I asked: "How does it taste?".

He answers: "Like heaven! That's the first word that comes to me."

Then he goes: "It's like saying: Where have you been all my life, you lamb, you!".

So it's THAT good.

I try mine.

Marinated Lamb Chops

It's THAT good! Heaven.

The meat is very very tender and it still is very juicy. My order came with some mixed greens, and an herb rice, I think. I didn't concentrate on them too much because my attention was on the lamb. I can still taste its richness. I can still feel its tenderness. I'm not going to stray away from this meat from now on. Silence descends upon us as we finish our dinner. Across me I see a very satisfied face. Hal finishes off his plate as I am still half way through mine. His lamb rack came with baked potato and some mixed greens. He gave me a slice of the lamb but, for me, it was to herb-y (is there such a word?). He loved it though, and that's whats important.

We were too full to have dessert. We were about to ask for the bill when suddenly staff greets us with a "happy birthday" song. They placed the cake on the table. On top were two candles (pink and blue) and it was garnished with strawberry and sugared grapes. This was a chocolate mouse cake. Yummy! So we didn't leave yet. :)

our birthday cake

Hal and I have tried most of the fine dining restaurants in Manila. You can always say "to each his own" but I don't think there will ever be one as good as this.

The first time we were here, Hal told me that he's taking Hiro there when he grows up.

Will this be "their" restaurant the same way "La Guernica" was Hal and his dad's?

Only time will tell. Hopefully, it will be there when that time comes.